It's Stuck!
by MommaMinion40
Summary: One shot "Things you don't want to explain to the paramedics!Eric and Sookie get caught in a compromising situation! Thanks to Suki59 for her encouragement & sassyvampmama the best BETA ever! This is just for laughs and everything is funny at midnight!


**WEEKLY ONE-SHOT CHALLENGES OF 2010**

**Week 19**

**DEADLINE:** Sunday, August 15 Midnight PST

**This is all SUKI59 doing. She sucked me into the one shot/challenge world. This is my attempt at a little humor. I am writing this VERY late at night so there is not much that is not funny to me right now! HUGS**** Tracee**

**Theme: **Never do anything that you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics.

How the hell did this happen? I wondered briefly. "Eric you are going to have to move a little to your right!" I yelled with a quick glance to be sure no one was coming. "It's stuck! QUIT PULLING on that it HURTS!"

"Lover just stop all your squirming and I will get it out." He laughed.

"Eric Northman this is so not funny! IF you laugh again I am going home and I will never speak to you again." I yelled.

"Lover, aren't you being a bit over dramatic about this. It is not that big of a deal. I can fix this. It will be alright." He was still smiling.

"How the hell did you get it stuck like this anyway? You are over a thousand years old surely to God you have had enough practice and used it enough! Did you know that this is would happen when you dared me? Has this ever happened to you before? No wait I do not want to know the answer to that." I ranted.

"Sookie, would you like me to call Pam? Perhaps she will be able to get a better angle to…." He started to ask.

"Hell no, I do not want you to call Pam! No wait why? Why would you call Pam? Have you done this to her? No wait I go back to my prior statement, I do not want to know." I yelped.

After a few more minutes Eric was obviously stumped. "Sookie, I am sorry but I do think I am going to have to call Pam in here. "

"NO! Just rip it out! I can't lay here trapped like this any longer!" I said.

"No I will not do that Sookie. I am quite attached to it. You will just hold still while Pam and I figure this out." He said as he "called" for Pam.

Pam walked in and started laughing! "Oh this is rich!" She laughed as I heard a camera phone click!

"Master, how did you two ever manage this?" She sat down on the floor by us and laughed until I was sure red tears rolled down her face!

"Pamela, less laughing and more help here please!" Eric ordered.

"Pam you better not post any of these pictures on my Facebook page! I swear I will stake you!" I yelled at my soon to be ex best friend and she continued to laugh and click photos.

After a moment of tugging Pam sighed, "I think we are going to have to call the paramedics. Master, you would be fine but Sookie, she _is_ only human!"

As I did what I was asked, I thought back to how innocently this had all started. It had been a long day. I had worked the breakfast and lunch shift at Merlotte's so I could have the next 4 days off to be with Eric. He had been trying to talk me into going on a vacation for the longest time and I finally relented to a long weekend.

Eric wanted to go somewhere cooler, much to my chagrin! I wanted to go somewhere warm but I understood Eric's point. Why go to the beach when your significant other is a vampire and cannot enjoy the sun. Eric found a lovely little cabin by a lake up in the mountains of Tennessee. He had a friendly relationship with the King of Tennessee and felt we would be safe there.

There was a brief moment when Felipe caught wind of our trip that he had offered to put us up in his casino in Las Vegas. But I had no desire to spend any time anywhere near Victor. He was still on my "evil minions to kill list" and I really just wanted a peaceful vacation. So, we politely declined the invitation, and explained that we were looking for some solitude as we never had a proper honeymoon after our 'marriage.'

Yes, I had finally agreed to be Eric's wife and he introduced me as such whenever he could. He bought me a beautiful gold band with intricate decorations and inlayed diamonds. He had mine engraved with, "Sookie, My Heart's Desire." And I in turn, had engraved his with "Eric, My Forever & Always." It was my little way of telling him I would let him turn me. He had not known of my decision until the 'official' wedding we had one night at my house. It was truly a beautiful evening. There were little twinkle lights everywhere. I had turned the whole wedding over to Pam and I was not disappointed. I will never forget the look on his face when he read the engraving on his ring and then saw the smile on my face. He looked at me with a single red tear rolling down his face as I nodded yes to him. None of our guest knew, but I think Pam might have had a small inkling.

I was in the process of moving in with Eric. In a few weeks I would not be working at Merlotte's any longer. It was just too far of a drive from Shreveport to Bon Temps. I was training a new waitress when Eric and I returned from our 'honeymoon' and then I was going to take over training the human wait staff at Fangtasia and just enjoying being able to spend more time with Eric. One thing I had learned since losing so many friends and family in the fairy war was that tomorrow is not promised. I wanted to spend my nights with Eric.

We were supposed to decide when and where he was going to turn me. Pam thought that we should do it on vacation. I was not quite ready yet. I wanted to wait a little while longer but Eric is ready for me to be his forever NOW. Well actually YESTERDAY! That was one of the reasons we were going on this vacation to decide when and where. There was a brief moment when I thought the conversation might contain who, when and where. I made the mistake of asking him what he thought of Pam turning me. My thinking was that he would not hold so much power over me as my maker but the look on his face when I said it was like I had kicked him in the gut so I played it off as a joke. He never brought it up again and neither did I!

Now here is where it gets sticky. Since Eric chose the vacation spot. I had no clothes to wear. He took me shopping and bought me coats, jackets, boots, sweaters and the list goes on and on. He had a blast. In the past I have fought him tooth and nail for every dime he has spent on me but night before last I let him buy me whatever he wanted for the trip. As long as it was trip related I let him buy it. He was like a kid at Christmas.

"Yes, I need that coat for my wife. I think one in red and one in black." If he said yes, I want that for my wife once, he said it a million times that night. He was in hog heaven! But once I got home, I realized that none of my luggage will work with this stuff. So I called Eric last night.

"Baby, do you have a set of luggage I can borrow for our trip?" I cooed. I loved calling him baby. I was sure I was the only person in existence that could get away with that.

"I will buy you a set." He stated.

"NO! Honey you have spent too much already. Surely you have something already that will work." I whined.

"I have an old trunk that might work for all of our things. I will bring it with me tomorrow night for you to look at and if you think it will work we will just pack everything together in it, okay?" he offered.

"That sounds great baby, thank you so much." I smiled into the phone.

"Now that that is settled, what are you wearing Sookie?" He growled and made me go weak in the knees.

I drove to Fangtasia tonight and met Eric in his office and I was immediately overwhelmed at the size of this huge trunk!

"Eric, is this what you are thinking of us packing our clothes in? You know it is for our clothes and not us right? I mean we do have plane tickets, right? We aren't going to be in the belly of the plane? I mean, I know I told you that you could turn me, but I didn't think we were going to do it before the trip!" I snarked!

"I will have you know that trunk has served me well for over a century and no, you will not be traveling in it. My wife will have the finest travel coffin money can buy, when the time comes!" He smiled.

"Eric this thing is HUGE! We could so fit in this thing." I laughed.

He wiggled his eyebrows at me and said,"You really think so?

"I bet we could!" I replied.

"Really lover, what would you wager?" He smiled again.

This had become an ongoing game between us, betting each other over stupid little truth or dare situations. Sometimes I won but most of the time he did. I was so sure I could win this one.

"A car, if you and I cannot both fit in this trunk, you can buy me a car of your choosing." I smiled knowing he would not be able to turn it down. "And you can't cheat! You get in first and then I will get in last. If we both entirely fit you lay off my car for a while."

"Deal!" He said as he smirked his sexy smile and climbed in the trunk. I climbed in after him and made a huge mistake. When I realized that we would fit I pulled the trunk shut thinking it would be funny. Yeah, the funny thing was the damn thing locked shut behind us but my hair was still half in and half out. OUCH! And did I mention the keys were in Eric's jeans?

So here I lay stuck in a truck with Pam trying to jimmy the lock open and Eric trying to move and pull my hair.

"Eric, I am going to have to break the lock or call a locksmith. You are sure there is not another set of keys somewhere." Pam asked.

"Nope there's just the set in my pocket." He advised.

"I am calling an ambulance and a locksmith." She told us. She laughed a little more and asked. "SO Sookie are you ok? Can you breathe?"

"Yes. So far so good, it does not seem to be air tight." I sighed.

Thirty minutes later I heard voices and laughter. Soon after that there was a bright light and I was breathing fresh air. The EMT that was beside the locksmith offered me an oxygen mask. I took several deep breaths and then looked over at Eric who was looking at Pam's Pictures.

"So Lover, what type of car are you leaning toward wanting me to buy you?" he smiled as he turned the camera phone around and showed me the picture of my hair hanging out of the truck. "I believe the terms were that we had to both completely fit in there together." He smirked. I knew better that to balk I just said not a sports car or an SUV.

Then the EMT looked at me and asked, "Ma'am, exactly how did this happen."

Shit. It was going to be a long night!


End file.
